chapter [redacted]: dabbling in fiction writing
lmao I tried a thing and I just want to post it on here so people reading it isn't the scariest thing to happen
I know absolutely nobody in this city and I’m starting to wonder if staying here for a month is a bad idea. My routine barely changes despite where I am in the world so I have no worries about that. I do, however, wonder if not physically socializing with friends for 30 days might do even more damage to my brain. Though that's ironic for me to think, considering that back in New York, I happily sit on my couch for months on end without making any plans because falling asleep to the sound of the ladies of Bravo yelling on my TV seems a lot more appealing. But sometimes I think I like the idea of being alone more than I like the reality of it. So I’m going to head down to the bar of the hotel and live my movie moment. I’ll go down to the bar once I sit in my towel for an hour and repeat a bunch of affirmations that temporarily convince me I’m bold enough to sit at a bar alone.
I put on The Teale dress from Realisation Par because it makes me feel like I’ve got my life together and slick my hair back into a low bun. I think I look normal enough to do this. This is something people in their mid-twenties are meant to do, right? Right. I slip on my Tony Bianco sandals and head for the elevator. Of course, the 20 second elevator ride consisted of me having an hour long debate with myself about whether or not I should go to an evening yoga class and then go straight to bed. A debate I was immediately snapped out of when the elevator doors opened and his stupidly adorable smile appeared as I stepped back from nearly walking into him.
“You're good” the very cute guy in front of me says. My mind has gone blank. I have no words to say. Am I even meant to respond when someone says I’m good? Why am I still standing here? Say Someth- “Ha, thanks”. Great work, Claire!
I’m standing here like he is Medusa and I just locked eyes with him. I am frozen in my steps and I’m still not saying anything.
“Are you staying here?”
This guy also isn't moving and I’m beginning to wonder if the elevator is broken or if it’s motion censored, because I’m pretty sure these doors shouldn't still be open. I take a step forward with that thought in mind and a second later the doors shut. Motion censored? Got it. Thank God I got a discount on this stay. “Yeah, I’m in the midst of a quarter life crisis”. Why did I say that?
“Oh…”
He takes a moment before he speaks and I take the same moment to catch him staring at me. Oh God, his eyes are beautiful. The type of hazel eyes that deserve the praise the poets give blue eyes.
He clears his throat. “-funnily enough, so am I”
We’re still keeping eye-contact as a wave of bravery washes over me. “Want to cheers to it?” I ask him. I don’t know where this sudden burst of confidence has come from but I’m beyond ready for rejection. I’m mentally scanning through the list of drinks that would get me drunk enough to forget this embarrassing moment as I watch confusion wash over his face. “Actually, don’t worry about that. That is the most “not me” thing I’ve ever done. ‘New city, new me’ went a tad too far. I didn't mean to bother you. I’ll be going now. Bye”.
I’m trying to walk as fast as I can without looking like I’m about to break into a sprint when a shadow starts approaching over my left shoulder. Going against my brain telling me to not look back, my head whips around faster than a child hearing an ice-cream van. He followed me?
His demeanour has changed in the seconds I turnt my back. Is he nervous? “I have to make a call. It will take 45 minutes plus the time it takes for me to leave now and come back”
“Come back?” I ask stupidly.
“I know you said that was the most “not you” thing you’ve ever done, but if the offer you made before you tapped in for the 400m sprint over there still stands, then I would like to cheers to it”
“I-I-I-” Amazing, I’m stuttering. “Yes, the offer still stands”. There’s no way this guy is real. The melatonin gummy I accidentally took, instead of my biotin gummy, must be causing some delusions because there is no way this guy is real. Men don't say things like that. Men suck! I know this because I’ve tried dating in New York and the results of my research are that men suck!
“See you at the bar, left hand side?”
All I can think to say is, “Okay, see you” and I made my way to the left hand side of the bar.
45 minutes to think and drink. I wave over the bartender and order two Tito’s Martinis and then immediately text my best friend.
🗨️:having a drink with a cutie guy in 45 minutes. panicking!!!!!
My best friend Paige and I are on the complete opposite end of the socializing spectrum. Where she loves to have people over and talk for hours, my social battery dies after about 3 hours. I need her advice on talking to this guy and I need that advice now. My martinis arrive just as Paige starts to call.
“Deep breaths, Claire”
“Shut up. I regret the day you visited my parent's house.”
Paige is the only person, outside of my family, who has seen the writing on my childhood bedroom mirror and judging by the decibels of her laugh, I’ll never hear the end of it.
“Tell me what happened, you don’t have long”
“I nearly walked into this guy as I was walking out of the elevator and I told him I’m having a quarter life crisis and then-
“Buy him dinner before you dump your baggage on him, why don't you?”
I roll my eyes. I love her.
“Paige please, how long have you known me? I’ve never been normal about a cute guy who is over 6 ft”
Paige is screaming down the phone. Knowing how this goes, I rest my phone on the bar and take a gulp of my martini as I can still hear her screaming. Then on cue, she takes a deep breath and says “Claire, climb him like a tree”.
“Okay be serious, for one second. I want to make friends in this city. I’ve been here for a week and I know nobody. He seems nice and he said he’s also having a quarter life crisis. We could be friends? Maybe he is married with kids like the other 25 year olds we know who aren’t living in New York City and that is his real quarter life crisis.” I don’t want to assume that he had any thoughts about me being cute in the way I did about him.
“Firstly, always lead with the fact that a guy is 6 feet tall when you’re giving me a debrief. Second of all, by now you've probably had one martini and if you didn't order two when you arrived then your second one is on its way. So you’re ready to yap. Ask him what he’s doing in Austin and you can start from there. If he admitted to having a quarter life crisis after you decided to be a blabber mouth and share that you're in the middle of one, then he seems open enough to lead a conversation with you. Stop overthinking and get drinking, my girl. Text me if you need anything but only when he’s not looking. This is kind of the whole reason you’re in Texas, right? You want to know whats in this next chapter of life for you?”
Ugh, I hate that she’s always right.
“Love you bestie boo, bye bye bye”
Before I even get to order a third martini, I see him from across the bar before he catches me staring and smiles. I don’t think there is going to be anything friendly about what his smile does to my heart rate.
this is an unedited work in progress that will probably never see the light of day again. its a random chapter in the middle of something i decided to start writing a few weeks ago lol. i hope it was fun. and if you did read it, thank you !! ❤️